“Please don’t tell me the truth, girl, coz it hurts like this” It was not a direct statement. It was not a quote from a film. It was a nickname of a friend of mine. Guess what, the owner is a woman. Her nickname made me rethink on the distinct character of a woman, that is hard to be understood by others,
Girls don’t really want to know the truth.
Have you ever watched Desperate Housewives season 3? It is my favourite show. I love the way they mocked women’s natural tendency. Watching the show is like mirroring in a huge mirror that does not show the true you, yet, you still recognize that the reflection is yours. Oh well, I just remembered one episode there, where Bree revealed her friend’s husband affair. Instead of being grateful, the lady was insulted, regretting that Bree had to throw that hurting fact to her face. Despite knowing that her husband didn’t love her that much, she would still prefer to close her eyes and pretending there was nothing wrong with her marriage.
Unfortunately, such women’s attitude does not appear only in soap operas. A month ago, a very best friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend. She spent the whole day lamenting how nice the ex-boyfriend was…and blamed the breakup to her.
The thing was, I knew that this ex wasn’t that holy. A week before the breakup, I sneak heard how this guy was really tired of the relationships, really wish to end it sometime soon by displaying behaviours disliked by the girl. On her birthday night, I joined him and his friend to hang out-without the girl and all the guy’s secrets were revealed that night.
I understood that my friend loved him so much and as long as she was happy with him, I would not care of revealing his true side. But he did dumped her, in a very subtle way, so I told my friend, “Anyway, he wasn’t that good…”
Half an hour after I began the confession, my friend was fallen into tears.
Two days later, I received a message from her, “Gy, all you said about *** is wrong. I’ve already asked all of his good friends and they said ***had never done such thing.”
Gosh…she asked HIS GOOD FRIEND! How the hell would a good friend reveal a man’s misbehavior to his beloved ex-girlfriend?! This good friend was there when the confession was made, I said..
The reply was: “yeah Gie, I understand you. You just don’t want me to return to him, that’s why you were telling me all that stuff. It’s Ok, but I just don’t want you to think negatively about him. He’s a nice guy”
I didn’t reply her message. And up till now, I’ve never had any contact with her, nor with her ex. May they live happily ever after.
I felt so insulted. I had my own share of problem, for sure, I wouldn’t want to care if she returned back to that bastard or not. Fine, I might not have the nicest boyfriend ever, but that doesn’t mean I envy anyone for having better life…Hadn’t she cried and mourn unnecessarily that day, I wouldn’t have told her anything! But above all, I pitied her, that she preferred sacrificing our friendship to living the truth.
I really couldn’t understand her rationale. She was smart enough to know that asking one’s good friend to know about his negative side would be useless. She trusted me enough to know that I wouldn’t lie to her; we have been friends since kindergarden! Yet, she decided to believe to the comforting lie.
Girls, why can’t you just accept the fact and move on?! Even if she still loves the guy despite all his bastard-ness, I wouldn’t call her silly or anything. I would appreciate and support her. After all, we love bad boys, don’t we? And we are supposed to forgive one another, aren’t we?
Not that I had never faced any discomforting truth before. There was some time that I wished my friend would keep her sorrow for herself. But since I’ve been told already, I couldn’t shut her up and pretend I had never heard anything. I heard something, which I knew was true, and I dealt with it. I was destroyed, but oh well, be fair! You mustn’t hate someone because she’s telling the truth.
Indeed, I told the exactly the same friend I referred to here about a discomforting truth of her that I knew. She couldn’t accept it the way I accept her word.
I tried to consult my friends on this. Two guys and a girl. I asked the same question: Do you think girls don’t really want to know the truth?
My girl-friend answered, “Humph..although it’s hard for me to admit…but yep, that’s the truth. We don’t really want to know what’s going on..we just want to hear what is good for us…”
But why?! I am a woman, I dealt with uncomfortable truth!
My girl-friend answered, “You kind of knowing the truth already…You knew he wasn’t that nice. Too shocking truth is the one that we, girls, hate.”
My guy-friend answered, “well, it’s kinda tough to answer…I can only say, not all girls are like you. Most of them don’t take their life as an adventure. They don’t have bad boys surrounding them and running their life as a good girl”
His answered was out of focus, nonetheless, I accepted, I mustn’t think everyone is the same.
“But what’s the point?! You’d know the truth anyway..in the long run…and it’ll hurt you even more!” I confronted them.
“Hoho..you’re distracted from the main point. The point was, girls hate the truth. So if in the long run they get to know the truth, they still know the truth, and they hate it! What they love is that they don’t have to know the truth FOREVER!”
Oh well, fine, you may not know it forever, but your friends, acquaintance, family, all know about it. Although they never tell you, they would pity you forever for a reason you never knew! I don’t know about the rest, but I would prefer to know the hurting truth rather than being stupid. It hurts me more.